Thursday, August 16, 2012

36 years 364 days

Life is full of interruptions.  Lately, I've felt my days have been chaotic, harried, full of things I can't control.  For my type-A, organized, live by a plan self, this has been a little overwhelming.  I've been wondering what I'm suppose to be learning in all of this because I've come to realize that God doesn't bring things into my life without a reason, without intention, without a cause.  He ALWAYS has a plan and a purpose for the seasons in my life.  Sometimes those seasons are short-lived and sometimes they seem like they'll never end.  Sometimes I immediately sense what it is He's trying to do in me or through me or what it is He's trying to get out of me or develop in me.  Sometimes, however, I'm not that easy of a student.  Sometimes it takes me a little time. 

On this occasion, I think I'm discovering some of the lessons He's trying to teach.  On the other hand, I'm not quite sure that there aren't some things I still need to let Him show me.  I am desperate for Him to teach me.  I'm desperate to learn.  I want to let go.  I want to be teachable.  I want to receive the work He's desiring to do in me, and yet so many times I'm so wrapped up in my predetermined plans, in my formulated goals and dreams, in my schedule and in my agenda that I simply miss it.  I get so wrapped up in the interruptions that I miss the opportunities.  I want to ENJOY the Journey.  I want to see the opportunities not just the interruptions.  I want to learn the lessons.  I want to be a true disciple, a Christ follower, changed daily from the inside out.  I want to understand what it means to embrace the moments of this life and to see the fullness of each one.  I want to live a life of thanksgiving to the One who makes it all worthwhile. 

Tomorrow I'll be 37 years old.  As I turn thirty-seven, I think of how some things have turned out exactly how I dreamed and others have taken a much different path.  While there have been seasons of absolute peace and clarity, there have also been times I've found myself far from the place I would have imagined or hoped for.  I feel at times much like the Israelites in their wilderness wanderings.  I find myself still clinging to the hope that in God's time I will see the Promised Land.  I know that there has not been one season of this journey wasted, one moment of hurt or pain or victory or healing that God is not using to write His story of my life.  I'm so glad that I can trust Him to make sense of it all.  So on the eve of my 37th birthday, I choose to give thanks for so much that is a part of my story today that may or may not be a part of my story in a year or in two years.  I understand though that these things are a part of my becoming who He desires for me to be.  I choose to give thanks for even the tough stuff, the stuff that often leaves a lump in my throat, a knot in my stomach, that causes me to cling to Him like never before, that sends me first thing in the morning to His feet in utter dependence, that is the air I breathe and the only reason I look to the future with hope. 

219.  I am thankful for God's reminder that there is hope on the other side of whatever struggle I face today.

220.  I am thankful that life's sweetest moments are not about things but about relationships.

221.  I am thankful for prayer that sustains me moment by moment throughout my days.

221.  I am thankful for the squeals and laughter of my daughters as they play together in the pool.

222.  I am thankful for new birth.  My sweet friends are welcoming new babies to their families and what a blessing!!!  

223.  I am thankful that God is speaking order into the chaos of our daily home school schedule.  He's helping me figure out how to meet each of my girl's needs by providing them each with ample one on one time.  So very, very thankful for this.  

224.  I am thankful for forward progress in the van ministry at church.

225.  I am thankful for Marvelous Mondays.

226.  I am thankful for my husband who always seems to speak a word that reminds me that every thing's going to be okay.  He has a way of refocusing me on who we are as a family, of the God we serve, and of what we've committed ourselves to in Him. 

227.  I am thankful for a husband who works hard at his employer and in our home.  He serves us well and loves us with the love of Christ.  

228.  I am thankful that even the worst days only last for a while.

229.  I am thankful that my husband and I are each other's strongest advocates and biggest supporters in our walk with Christ.  I am thankful for the conversations we have about our faith journeys and about what God is teaching us and how we want to pursue Christ more.

230.  I am thankful for weekend fun with my hubby and girls. 

231.  I am thankful for times to work together with the family; marking things off our to-do list is always fun. 

232.  I am thankful for the opportunity to do ministry together.

233.  I am thankful for Anna Claire's funny faces and hilarious sayings.

234.  I am thankful for Carrington's wise beyond her years perspective on life.

235.  I am thankful for days when both girls will say, "I want to go on a mission trip with my family."  That is music to my ears.

236.  I am thankful for moments when they erupt in praise music and sing and sing and sing.

237.  I am thankful for times when Carrington will say, "I love you Mom" for no reason, just because.

238.  I am thankful for the Word of God, it is what sustains me.  It is oxygen to me.  It is what answers ALL of life's questions and convinces me that I can go on. 

239.  I am thankful that there is NOTHING that is impossible with GOD.  I am thankful that on days when I am struggling to believe this someone else isn't and they speak a Word to me that encourages me to move forward. 

240.  I am thankful that God is not finished with me yet, that He who began a good work in me will complete it (Philippians 1:6). 


Post a Comment